Coming out of the new age ( my story)

I’m sharing some pictures in this post which are actually very painful and difficult for me to share. 

Two of these pictures look and feel like complete and utter strangers to me and in a way that is accurate. I was a stranger in those pictures. They make me shudder. 

My life could have gone in a completely different direction if it were not for God’s  Mercy and Grace and I believe, the prayers of some very devout souls and the protection of my dear Guardian Angel.

Here I am about the age of 7

I had been baptised Catholic but my faith was formed mainly by my mother reading me the stories of Jesus, Who I always loved. My parents were both in their 40’s when they had me so we’re quite old fashioned but I grew up liberal and materialistic culture of eighties England.

During my teens I suffered some trauma and tragedy and began to listen to heavy metal and punk rock. It was cathartic and felt like an antidote to the superficial, materialistic culture. It also felt like the music related to my sense of alienation and pain. 

This kind of music is a dangerous gateway into dark things. It led me towards an interest in fringe politics such as anarchism and new age occultism.

I began to dabble in new age practices including channeling and astrology. 

Though I never stopped loving Jesus, for some reason I had a deep attachment to Him, I made the mistake of disconnecting Him from His church and I rejected my faith ( in religion )

I started reading esoteric texts and learning about past life regression and other New Age beliefs and practices.

Here I am, walking in my beloved fields and woods where I always felt at home. I feel so sad for this girl. She had lost touch with who she really was. She would  go through some painful trials before coming Home.

In the picture below I am 16. I have left home and am living in a shared house in Harringey London with an assortment of people including drug dealers and a sex worker. 

I started taking drugs and having promiscuous relationships. Although I was always doing things, going to clubs etc, I felt so alone. I self harmed. I was afraid.

I became homeless and began taking heroin. 

Among other things, I overdosed, was held hostage, threatened with violence and slept on the streets. 

I was so lost. Yet, somehow, God didn’t give up on me.

Whenever I see someone looking like this now, I have so much compassion for them. They are beloved of God. They have hope and a future in Jesus. They need our love not our judgement.

I met an American in London. He had been mixed up with gang culture and in and out of prison. We both wanted the same thing, to start a new life. We married in a quick registry office ceremony and moved to California. I became pregnant.

My life changed overnight. Suddenly I loved someone more than myself. I recognised the infinitely precious soul of the life within me. I began to care about my life. I began to think about the kind of world I wanted to bring my daughter into. I remembered the Jesus of my childhood. I remembered the beauty and goodness that I felt whenever I read stories about Him. That was the kind of world I wanted to bring my baby into. I cried out to God to help me be a good mother for her and protect us. 

My new husband soon went back to his old friends and his old lifestyle but something in me had changed forever. I moved back home and had my daughter, the most precious gift of my life.

Although I had PPD and had to work 6 days a week to support us I had something else growing inside me like a little seed that somehow gave me strength to bear it all and more than that, give me Hope of a future.

I now know that seed was The Holy Spirit.

Because of the PPD I developed anorexia. My Daddy, who had had a life changing experience at Lourdes at the age of 15, took me to Lourdes to seek healing for me. I prayed at The Grotto and walked The Stations of The Cross and one night I woke up crying out for my mother. I have never cried out in my sleep before or since. I believe I was crying out to Mary, my Mother. Mary must have heard the cries of her poor daughter because when I came home I began eating again and my poor, damaged body and psyche was restored. 

About a year later, I met my husband who was a refugee from Albania, and we had four more beautiful girls. We had many adventures. God worked tangibly in our lives. I could write a book about the stories. 

I became confirmed in my cradle Catholic faith and my husband converted from Islam to Catholicism. 

Yet there were still some lingering beliefs and practices I held onto from the New Age. The New Age holds such a grip on the culture. 

We moved to a new house. We took on a mortgage. My husband became redundant and I panicked. When we had, had nothing there was nothing to lose. Now I realised how attached I had become to things and experiences. I became more materialistic. I began to think in terms of my space, my happiness and my security. I found it harder to turn to God, pray and read the scriptures. Instead of going to mass I went on long walks or slept in. I knew I was far from Him and all that was truly beautiful, good and true. I hid from Him like Eve in the garden.

In certain respects it all felt very lovely and free. Yet this  reversion to new age practices caused many problems, both health/wise, relational and emotional. It led to a complete breakdown in my health. I can’t convey in words how devastating this breakdown was. Yet God’s infinite mercy and compassion allowed me to experience this. I was running along the brink of a cliff and didn’t realise it. His rod and staff pulled me from the precipice. His hand laid heavy on me. It was the most painful yet merciful period of my life.

I began to read the scriptures again. I began to seek God with all my heart, more than ever before. For months, I felt nothing yet I knew that even if I were to never ‘feel’ God again I would never stop seeking Him.  After about a year, when I was in my fortieth year, I had the most incredible spiritual experience of my life. It was so profound, I will always see my life in terms of before and after that event.

I began to learn more and more about the beauty and richness of the Catholic faith. I went to Latin Mass. I began to veil. I started wearing a brown scapular. ( There is a story there which I may tell some day) I began to pray the Rosary everyday. I went to regular confession, adoration and Mass. I felt deep contrition for my sins. 

My health did a 180. Relationships healed. I healed. 

Life didn’t necessary get easier but I felt an overwhelming peace and presence of God through it all.

 I still feel that peace that surpasses understanding. A peace the world cannot give. 

Here I am ( above) at about 10 months old. I remember that day. I was surrounded by a sea of bluebells. The world was so new, beautiful and pure. I lost this girl for a while, but now she is found. Through Grace and Grace alone.

I am an introvert and I hate exposure. I have prayed for the last three years about sharing these pictures and some of my story.

I share out of obedience and love. I see the culture. I see the danger of the New Age and the damage it does. 

I couldn’t have got myself out of that dark place. Only God could do that. I couldn’t have saved myself. Only Jesus could save me.

Something precious exists like a hidden jewel. It is the truth. It is Jesus. It is Our Lord, present in His Holy Church. It is a narrow way but it is the only way that leads to life. 

Freely, without merit, it was given to me and I wish to pass it freely on. 

If you are in the New Age at the moment and are struggling, feeling alone and confused and overwhelmed, know that you are loved by God Who made you and formed you, Who knew you before the foundation of the world. In Him you have hope and a future. Turn to Him, seek Him with all your heart.

He will run to meet you while you are still on the way. He will enfold you in His arms and hide you under the shelter if His wings. Trust Him. 

A few more words…

Our culture is permeated by New Age spirituality. It is beginning to inform social policies, norms and values. It has infiltrated into our culture and this is not accidental. It has been a careful and premeditated operation by Masonic elites. 

This process started further back in history than the 20th century where it truly took root in mainstream society. Since creation the enemy has tried to infiltrate humanity and plant his dark seeds but this particular one originated in the part of history known as the ‘enlightenment.’

I thought I was a Christian but I had been steeped in New Age culture and it led me down a very destructive path.

New Age spirituality deals with occultism and the beliefs, rituals and practices involved, can open up portals to dangerous spiritual realms and entities.

I thank God that I re-found the church Jesus formed. The church that even the powers of hell cannot prevail against. It is truly a safe harbour from the enemy, who ‘prowls the earth seeking the ruin of souls.’

Only Jesus and his church, his mystical body on earth, can help us clearly navigate through this harsh and confusing, noisy and distracting world safely and bring us to the heavenly shores of our true home.

I encourage you to read this post and watch the video attached.

I would also highly recommend this book for those questioning the New Age. Roger Buck’s spiritual journey is fascinating and will be something many will relate to and can learn from.

Not all belief systems are the same. Not all belief systems lead to the same place.

There is only One Truth and it is Absolute. 

God Bless.

Links to relevant posts:

Lots of info in this post

The influence of music

Spiritual Dangers of Rock Music 

Roger Buck and the new age

Prophesies for this age (End Days Church)

Sister Emmanuelle Maillard’s testimony

Gabi After Hours testimony on dangers of new age

Harry Potter and it’s influence in Culture

The hardest homeschooling days 

The dangers of yoga

Some signs of the end times 

Finding my own truth

The dangers of progressive Christianity 

Christians and conspiracy theories 

Why we don’t subscribe to waldorf educational philosophies anymore

‘For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.’ - Ephesians 6:12

"Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen."